


A Threshold We Pass Through

by cm (mumblemutter)



Series: Do Over [2]
Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: Heroes: Volume 5, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-02
Updated: 2009-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-04 02:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one about the importance of family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Threshold We Pass Through

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for everything up to and including episode 4x10, _Brother's Keeper_. See [series header](http://archiveofourown.org/series/1198) for more notes.

_"What did you do, ma? Is my brother really dead?"_

"Answer him, mom. We'd all like to hear that one."

+

Rocks fall. Everybody dies. Or Nathan dies, which comes up to pretty much the same thing, as far as Peter is concerned. Nathan dies, and Sylar lives, and that's not how it's supposed to be, that's not how the story ends. And yet that's how it always seems to be, when it comes down to it. Sylar wins, and Sylar wins, and Sylar wins.

Peter nails him down with a satisfaction that he's not felt in years, certainly never when it came to inflicting violence, and Sylar screams and screams and still Nathan is dead. René comes forward, and he looks worried for once. "Peter," he says. "You are taking this too far."

"No," Peter says. "Not far enough. Any last words," he asks Sylar, and Sylar just glares at him through the one eye he has left that opens. "Goodbye," and he's not sure who he's telling that to, and some small, tiny part of him still wants to believe.

He'd be lying if he said killing Sylar didn't feel good, he just wishes that it felt better. "Make sure he doesn't come back this time," he tells René after he's done, and if René has an opinion on the amount of blood that Peter has on his hands, he doesn't voice it.

+

Mom says, "Peter. Peter. Your brother did the same thing when he thought you were dead. I refuse to lose my other child as well. You need to clean yourself up and get back to your old life. Stop this nonsense at once."

Peter doesn't answer, until she opens her mouth again, and then he starts shooing her towards the door. "You're interrupting my brooding session, Mom. Get out." He's being cruel, he knows, she's barely holding it together herself, but he doesn't quite care. There's a bottle of sixty-five proof with his name on it, and even more misery to court. He hears her, standing outside the apartment as he slams the door behind her, starting to cry, and it almost, but not quite, makes him want to open it again. The Petrellis always handle their grief alone. Peter never thought that this would be the one thing he'd inherit from his family.

Someone told him once that the five stages of grief were originally meant for the terminally ill to come to terms with their own death, rather than as a catch-all for dealing with loss.

Funny, but losing Nathan sure feels like dying to him.

+

He flies whenever it's dark enough, and sometimes when it isn't. Nathan was always so afraid of his power, afraid of what it meant, even after it had become second nature to him. But sometimes when they flew, and Peter was pressed against his back and moving so fast he could barely see and all he could do was bury his face in Nathan's neck and try to breathe, he could feel Nathan's pulse under his mouth, and it was the same, slightly sped-up beat that it was whenever they fucked, and it would make Peter hard, always, and even moving that quick he could feel Nathan start to chuckle against him, arch his back, almost imperceptibly, and somehow Peter always knew, this was when Nathan felt most at home.

Flying never feels like home to Peter. Saving people, sometimes, perhaps, but the hospital has given up calling for him, and if at some point he wants to return and there's no job left for him, he's somehow allright with that too.

+

"Hey René, think you could wipe my memory of my brother? Maybe I'd feel better."

"That's not how it works, Peter."

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

+

There's a funeral, a closed casket and everybody's there because a dead Petrelli matters. Peter's not quite sure how his mother pulls it off, who she bought and who she used in order to make the investigation into the death of a US Senator simply go away. But she does, and when he leans over to ask her, "Is the casket empty," she turns and snaps at him.

"Peter, don't be crass." Her gaze softens though, and she puts her gloved hand gently on his cheek. "I'm glad you shaved. I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah, well. Gotta keep up appearances, right, Mom?" She flinches, but says nothing. The truth is, Peter's not quite sure why he's even angry at her, none of this is her fault, except that Nathan had to die twice, and both times at the hands of the same person, who's dead now, so again, there's nothing to be mad about.

Except he is. Furious enough that he's aware that it must radiate off of him, because no-one dares to even try to approach him throughout the entire display of people pretending they cared about Nathan beyond what he could do for them. He can't even bear to look at Heidi and the kids, doesn't know how to talk to his own nephews without falling apart.

It's Claire who's the first to come up, beautiful face streaked with tears and loss, and she ignores his crossed arms and scowl and hugs him tight, and he starts to shake. "I'm sorry, Peter," she mumbles into his shirt. "I'm so sorry." Peter doesn't have much choice but to hug her back, and above her head he can see Noah Bennet, hovering nearby as always, doing his duty. He nods his head, and Peter nods back.

Claire pulls back and says, "I feel as if. I wish I'd known him better. Longer. I wish."

"Hey, hey," Peter tilts her head back with his index finger, and it's almost entirely an accident. Claire whose power is mostly useless except that it's the most important one to have when it matters. Claire who will live forever, most likely. "He loved you. I want you to know that."

When she's gone, Peter stares at his hands and wonders if it's really, truly, that easy.

+

Turns out Nathan Petrelli isn't, in fact, buried where he's supposed to be. Peter finds the storage unit again, though it's not as easy getting there as when he could fly. It's not the first or even the second or third time that Peter's stared down at the dead body of his brother, and it's kind of surreal at this point how normal this is. Peter smooths imaginary hair away from Nathan's forehead and kisses him, soft, on the lips. Wonders if death is a blank slate and Nathan will come back not being aware of anything at all, like they both have one time or another, or if four months means more.

He doesn't wonder at all if four months means he's too late.

He doesn't wonder if Nathan, perhaps, after four months, might want to stay dead.

\- end -


End file.
